Male Shopping Chronicles(I’m The Man)

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I was at the arguably best mall in Mombasa just flipping through a magazine waiting for my “girlfriend” who was shopping & I came across an article that caught my undivided attention. “They” say that a man thinks about sex every seven seconds. It’s even said to be “scientifically proven”. So, as the myth buster and BS annihilator that I often consider myself, I started the stopwatch app on my “smartphone” & went ahead to try and not think about sex for seven seconds. How hard could it be? I figured I’d just stare at the floor the whole time & think about why Kenyan media doesn’t broadcast at least 70% of local content & what the government is doing about it. I had this under control.
One…
Two…
Three…

The slow & subtle clunk of a graceful walker’s high heels on a concrete floor is no doubt among the top ten… Scratch that! Top five sexiest sounds IMO.

Four…
Five…

A nicely done red pedicure peeping out of some four-inch-ish heel peep toes made an “involuntary” stimulus turn my head & admire the beautiful ‘sgwembe’ leading up to well carved curves & a perfect ‘haga’ of a Kenyan girl. I was barely six seconds in & my mind was already a scene off the movie Fifty Shades of Grey (which I’ve never watched nor am I intending to ever watch again!)
“They” had got me. That damn article made me feel both proud of how much a man I was & also ashamed because I had to take away my myth busting and BS annihilating licences that I hadn’t worked at all for & give myself an indefinite ban on practicing.
But it was worth it. I sat back, put the magazine down then went ahead and basked in the rays of beauty beheld by the banging bodies of the Kenyan ladies walking by…before my “girlfriend” brought me back to reality with a bunch of paper bags full of stuff that I had to carry because I’m the man. The effing Man.

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